I like the idea of working out one's demons through clay. It's so fiercely tactile.
Even though it’s extremely untrue, I like imagining art being the only thing that matters to me. It’s such a simple, peaceful fantasy. Fantasy is pretty fun to me right now amidst the dark cloud of melancholic rage and anxious sadness that arises from the reality of cancer. A rare form of melanoma has been trying very hard to kill my mom for the past 2 years. (Side note: At first, I accidentally spelled it ‘melamoma’, which is what a mom with melanoma is called of course…don’t worry, she’d find this funny).
1/6/26
I’ve been waking up at random times in the night in a panic. Tonight is was at 4:24am.
I’m using an app to try and make new friends. It’s disconcerting how ubiquitous apps are nowadays, but regardless, I’m hopeful.
This is me filling out the app for making friends: “What does an ideal weekend look like for you?” You have to answer this prompt in the form of tags, not full sentences. I said “pottery, coffee, walk, hike, art show, bookstore, library, dancing, swimming, knitting, movie”. You were limited to 10 tags. I would’ve preferred this in the form of full sentences: When I’m not in the pottery studio during the weekend, I love doing simple things like getting a coffee and going for a walk. I also love a hike, seeing an art show, going to a bookstore, hanging out at the library, going out dancing somewhere fun, doing some laps at my pool, and going to a movie and getting a blue tongue from my blue Icee.
I’ve been thinking about my own flavor of loneliness that can come with being an artist and the ways in which artists have historically sought out community. In my own life, through pottery classes, I started to feel how much teaching art is a way to create this kind of community. In my own slow, shy way I’m actively trying to find my own art community.
1/8/26
Because I have a deep love for information organized into list form, I made my own version of what’s In/Out for 2026.
IN:
-Jumping on a mini trampoline and annoying my downstairs neighbors because it is a very squeaky trampoline.
-The present moment.
-Drinking coffee from the green hydro flask instead of the orange one.
-Frozen blueberries.
-The Space Lady’s greatest hits.
-Doing all the laundry once and for all.
-Flowing gracefully down the river of time.
-Walnuts.
-Thoughtfulness.
-True love.
OUT:
-Judgement of how much coffee I drink.
-Overwatering my indoor cactus plants.
-Cancer.
-My crappy day job that is highly demeaning to my creative human spirit.
Lately when I go swimming I’ve been pretending I’m a frog. It’s quite relaxing. I highly recommend it.
